Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Cruise night

Ooh Cortina

seat cover 1

seat cover 2

seat cover 3

she's robotic

made up


aviator style



ooh Cortina

lucky car key

she's the prize

no strings


zero 6

electro thrills

lights ahead

high class


1 over

speed limit

ooh Cortina

drivin' Cindy


to the stars


Thursday, 3 October 2013

Getting the most from jobcentre plus

Take a seat and you'll be called. The seat starts to crawl when I hear a man getting barked at for not writing enough in his job search diary I'm next and every time I've done something wrong and it's my fault that I'm here

we are to blame

and hold the door when we leave say thank you and smile straight at dull eyes knowing I'm next to explain what I can do and justify myself because whatever I say we still get knocked down with why aren't you using the universal jobmatch site when they know as well as we do it doesn't work so what do I say yes I'm on it for 3 hours a day you can check I gave you permission wasn't allowed to refuse

I'm to blame

I can't attend because I have an appointment for treatment you look very calm she says it's in my power to stop your benefits if you won't attend I wasn't calm I was frozen with fear and using all my control not to scream I haven't done so well this week can't play this part and she traps me harder with a slow blink and constant discreet bullying before pointing out another defect in my CV she finds another one every time so I have to discard and print out more until the anxiety was so severe something broke

I was to blame

when I said I was going to do work experience in a day centre for the homeless I was told off like a kid and if I done any voluntary work she would arrange it for me the way she was only doing her job chipped away any confidence I had left in other situations I can stand up for myself but in there you just have to sit there and take it until they say sign on the line and I go for another guilty pint with a friend who tells me he's on the waiting list for mental health care when before we'd laugh another tells me he does supermarket shift work so he doesn't have to go back there and hugs me we're thankful for charity shops as we have barely enough money to live on but are in the wrong again if we volunteer to help in one because that time should be spent looking for work

we are to blame

under suspicion and in 2 weeks time know we have to go back for more humiliation like all the other adult humans a statistic of redundancy now a figure to reduce set up with your own failed business or ploughed onto the sick and all you're obligated to do to stay on it before they decide you're not their definition of ill or pushed into jobs where the demands are illegal for the sake of the numbers of unemployed looking lower I hear a young woman verbally slapped for not applying for a job that wouldn't even pay enough for childcare let alone provide for herself and her daughter

we are to blame

the Samaritans are so busy these days he could only leave a message and trains are delayed because another person has jumped in Croydon she tells me the doctor has put her on more pills and looks into her drink I shouldn't you know but it helps me sleep another wakes up crying every day and can't leave her flat after it took a year of appeals and reduced benefits for them to acknowledge she is too ill to work and they will continue her sick pay tribunal cancelled doctors look blank and refer us from one to the other for nervous conditions

we are to blame

I want a job but he asks why I'm not available for work from 9am-8pm every day I tell him I have documentation of my illness he asks if it has a name no I say but I can show you my therapists report he says it's not necessary for him to see it and next time my session will last an hour

I am to blame

and wonder why I always feel in danger have panic attacks and tell people I've just met I'm scared of heights and don't know how to swim.

Can we change the subject please

it's the height of

Rising Sun

Hammer and Sickle

Union Jack

Stars and Stripes

Modern Life

it's the Fashion Baby

Glossy Magazine read it